Break From from the Pattern of Unhealed Trauma

Marlena Tillhon MSc
3 min readApr 16, 2023
Photo by Fuu J on Unsplash

A traumatic experience is any experience in which we feel threatened, unsafe or rejected.

We usually have more traumatic experiences during our childhood because we are not developed or equipped enough to deal with challenging life situations.

That’s when we develop safety strategies to cope with the trauma.

From then onwards, any time something reminds us of the traumatic experience, we employ this safety strategy which is usually a coping behaviour or emotional reaction.

This becomes a deeply ingrained pattern.

The problem with it is that we stay in the same pattern, the same loop.

It all stems from a traumatic experience and it all leads back to that traumatic experience.

In our adult lives, we maintain this pattern by making choices that fit into it and reactions that keep it going.

Therefore, we are trapped within a traumatic experience if the past that we couldn’t make sense of as children and that we didn’t have the emotional or cognitive capacity to deal with then.

This is where inner healing comes in.

We need to open up to a different way of dealing with the original traumatic experience.

As long as we react in the same ways as we did then, we stay within the loop and nothing can change.

The emotions don’t get processed. The energy stays stuck. Your body will suffer. Your mind feels trapped. Your soul is stifled.

Healing is about releasing the pain of the past by letting it run its course.

As a result of past trauma, you carry trapped energetic loops that keep going round and round until you decide to break their very predictable pattern.

We feed these loops by engaging in the same thought patterns, surrendering to them, developing emotional habits that we identify with and that restrict the evolution of our identify and personality, being emotionally reactive and not working through our triggers, avoidance behaviours such as not doing the things that would be good for you because they feel uncomfortable or focusing on everything and everyone outside of ourselves and trying to control what we can’t control.

Healing liberates you from all of that.

Healing allows you to face your past courageously because you are now deeply committed to creating a life you can enjoy.

Healing is about reclaiming your power and becoming intentional about your life choices instead of following habituated patterns that never lead to what you want.

Healing is about meeting yourself with the internal resources that allow you to navigate old and new life challenges.

You are not the person you were then.

Today, you have all the power.

You get to choose what happens next.

But you have to step out of the pattern and release the energy that felt too overwhelming for you to feel and process back then.

Trauma is not a life sentence.

Choosing not to heal is.

With Love, Marlena

inner healing, recovering from trauma, psychotherapist



Marlena Tillhon MSc

Epic Love Relationships & Aligned Partner Choices through Inner Healing & Self-Mastery - follow me on IG @lovewithclarity and visit me on