Codependency – a New Understanding

Codependency is one of those terms some loathe and others love. It is either deemed as shaming and overgeneralising or as a label to explain and often excuse unhealthy behaviours.

I have dedicated the last 5 years of my career to exploring, researching and solving the codependency problem. Some of my clients broke free from it very, very quickly while for others it was a slightly longer process.

What is most important is to understand codependency and how we, as individuals, express it in our lives. It is about learning to look inward and towards ourselves so we can begin the process of liberation from codependency.

The Origin of Codependency

The term codependency was first coined by the AA movement. It described a family member, whose behaviour seemed to enable the alcoholic’s alcohol abuse. This was soon extended to all substances and more recently also to relationships.

Nowadays, there are many different definitions of codependency. A single definition. has never been collectively agreed upon and neither has codependency been accepted as a mental disorder on the DSM.

And yet, it is a very common problem that requires awareness-raising, a deep

understanding, the removal of all stigmas and judgements and a way out of it.

Symptom-Reduction Is Not the Solution

Traditional literature focuses on the condition and its symptoms. Up until very recently, codependency was seen as an illness and something that required long-term recovery. Very often, people were advised to leave their partners, escape their families or go ‘no-contact’ with whoever was deemed to be making them codependent.

None of this is an absolute requirement with a new understanding of codependency. It is an option, but not a necessity to break free from codependency.

Breaking free from codependency can be a liberating, compassionate and empowering experience. But not when we follow the scriptures of the disease model.

Codependency Comes from Within Ourselves

Codependency is not something outside ourselves. It is not something we catch as adults from another adult. The situations we experience are also not the cause of our codependency.

The codependency we experience comes from within ourselves. It is the patterns we follow, the conditioning of our mind.

Unless we are willing to see this, we will not be able to break free from codependency because there will always be someone or something else to blame.

An outward focus is what entraps us within codependency.

A New Understanding as the Solution to Codependency

There is no need for anyone to stay stuck in codependent ways of being anymore. Codependency drains us of our life energy. It stops us from connecting with others in loving, meaningful and fulfilling ways. It keeps us from looking after ourselves in ways that are caring, life-enhancing and joyful.

When you realise how damaging codependent habits are, you naturally turn away from what doesn’t work and look for what does.

And having a new understanding of codependency spells the end to our codependent struggles.

Follow me to learn more and free yourself from what doesn’t serve you. We’ve got this.