Do You Shame Yourself Into Getting Things Done?
Like so many of my clients, I used to shame myself to motivate myself to become a better person or to get more things done. (Because we are raised in a society in which we think our level of productivity reflects on our worth as a human being … but that’s a different topic for another time.)
I didn’t realise at the time that I was the drill sergeant that kept shouting abuse at me in an attempt to get me moving.
It worked and I moved.
I moved with fear and shame.
I did the things. I ticked the boxes. My life looked ok from the outside.
On the inside, I was crumbling. I felt numb. It all seemed pointless.
Why? Why didn’t my external success make me happy?
Because it was all rooted in shame, in toxic shame.
And that’s not the most loving or conscious way to motivate ourselves.
It it something I help my clients to outgrow too.
But, focusing on ethical practice, integrity and compassion, we don’t force ourselves to let go of a coping strategy or safety behaviour until we have learnt a new one to replace it with. (Everything we do has a function!)
One of my favourite practices is cultivating the version of yourself you want to grow into.
It’s still you.
It’s not about becoming someone else.
It’s about becoming more of you.
It’s about becoming Next Level You.
So ask yourself what version of yourself you want to embody more of? Who do you want to become? How do you want to express yourself? How do you want to carry yourself, speak, work, show up?
That’s where your new motivation will come from.
It will be birthed from a place of desire.
And that changes everything.
That’s what brings you back into alignment and what you want to experience will seemingly come to you without great effort or stress.
There will be no forcing it, not pushing it, no trying to control anything.
And yet, your will experience great success in all areas of life.
You will grow in confidence and have clarity around your values which allows you to make intentional and purposeful choices.
There will be an enhanced sense of inner security and a feeling of being deeply grounded in your essence.
Because when you let go of shame, you get to access more of you.
And that’s key to creating and living a life you love.
Today, my wish for you is to discover the willingness to move away from shame and move towards what you truly desire.
Then watch a new experience unfold.
With Love, Marlena
PS: To bring more of this desire-led energy into your life, I invite you to access my NEXT LEVEL YOU practice and to watch my MORE OF YOU Masterclass.
