Does FOMO Keep You Trapped In Your Relationship?
Have you been waiting for your partner to change but no matter what you say or do your partner just won’t change?
You know that something doesn’t work for you but you don’t want to leave because what if your partner changes when you break up and then you’ll have massive regret?
Where does this fear of missing out in relationships come from?
This fear comes because we can sense the potential of our partner and the relationship.
So for your brain, this is a reality you could be experiencing. It is a reality your attachment system wants to be experiencing.
And yet you’re not experiencing it because your partner doesn’t want to be that version of themselves. Not now. Maybe not ever. But maybe just not with you. That is a possibility too.
This doesn’t mean anything about you or your worth but it is a reflection on the dynamics you have co-created within that relationship.
Maybe your partner’s refusal to change is down to an invisible power struggle.
Maybe they don’t feel loved for who they are so they refuse to become who they could be.
Or maybe they’re happy with who they are and how they are and they simply don’t want to change.
Either way you have to accept the reality of what is.
Staying attached to the potential of what could be can make you waste years in a relationship that just isn’t right for you.
This doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you or with your partner but that this relationship just isn’t how it should be or could be — probably for both of you.
You can explore the reason why that might be the case with a fully trained professional like me so that you can give it one last shot and know that you have done everything you could to save this relationship and find happiness within it.
Message me if that’s something you want to do.
The most important aspect to this problem is getting a deeper understanding of why you are finding yourself in this situation.
Ask yourself the following questions for more awareness and understanding:
- Why do I want my partner to change?
- How do they want me to change?
- How do we both have to change to make this relationship work?
- Why might my partner refuse to change? (List all the reasons you can think of why your partner might refuse to change.)
- What makes you resistant to changing or giving up the idea that your partner should change?
Bonus Tip
List what currently isn’t working for you and then think about whether this is an incompatibility you could work through with some individual or couples sessions with me or whether any of them are actual dealbreakers that if fully accepted and faced would mean the end of that relationship (and so you’re in denial about them).
To learn how to spot incompatibilities and dealbreakers in your relationship and what to do about them, join my powerful and eye-opening ‘Should I Stay Or Should I Go?’ program.
Find out what your next step is in an effective, efficient and compassionate way. DM me ‘SOG’ on Instagram for more information.
