I Am Keeping My Heart Open
I’m keeping my heart open
Despite the cruel words that pass your lips
Despite the looks that cannot contain your disappointment with me
A projection of your own failings
Because you know that you didn’t love me right
But you do not own your pain
You push it onto me
And I refuse to carry it for you
I have not come this far to shut down again
To protect myself from you and your fear of love
I am keeping my heart open
I am here to love
I am here to feel
Your fears won’t shackle me to you
Or your pain
I am keeping my heart open
Even when it feels like it is tearing me apart
Because I know that there’s more to life than your pain
Disguised as love that cuts so deep it makes me lose myself
In the whirlwind of your moods and distortions
Of me, my love and who I am
I refuse to see myself through the lens of your pain
And instead, I will stay true to myself
And I will keep my heart open
To embrace everything that is yet to come
The love I have yet to experience
The life I have yet to live
And the freedom that I have fought so hard to reclaim
I am keeping my heart open
Despite of you
And for me
by Marlena Tillhon, 2023
