May Your Desire Be Stronger Than Your Denial.

Marlena Tillhon MSc
2 min readJul 25, 2023


Photo by Manuel Meurisse on Unsplash

When you were raised in an environment in which you had to play the role of the grateful child, you were taught to be in denial of your inner experiences.

You learnt that your feelings don’t matter.

You learnt that your needs are insignificant.

You learn that your desires are inconvenient.

And so you learnt that relationships are not really about you.

Relationships require you to deny your truth.

Nothing else gets you faster into an unhealthy relationship in which nothing is about you anymore.

It becomes about the other person.

About pleasing them.

About sacrificing for them.

About tolerating them.

Even when they hurt you.

Even when it doesn’t feel right.

Even when you know that it isn’t what you want.

Even then.

Especially then.

Because the relationships you have known have never been about you.

They have always been about a denial of you.

And you not complaining about the passive role that has been assigned to you.

Healing and getting into healthier relationships is largely about no longer colluding in denial.

It’s about stopping denying the reality of the situation.

The pain you’re feeling.

The hurt that has been caused.

The ways in which you have hurt yourself.

But that’s ok.

You’ve suffered for long enough.

You can take the feelings that come up when you heal.

You can do this without the shadow of a doubt.

And so my wish for you is that your desire is stronger than your denial.

Let that move you.

And watch a new experience of life and love unfold.

With Love, Marlena

PS: Message me to book some healing sessions to let go of past pain and create a clear and actionable path to feel more confident and call in real connection, love and intimacy.



Marlena Tillhon MSc

Epic Love Relationships & Aligned Partner Choices through Inner Healing & Self-Mastery - follow me on IG @lovewithclarity and visit me on