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My Boundaries, My Business
Just recently I came across a meme about giving other people permission to not like your boundaries. I found this very confusing as it’s 1. not in my control what other people like or dislike and 2. quite frankly, none of my business.
If I struggle when other people dislike the boundaries I set, then that is my problem. It shows that I am not comfortable with the feelings that come up for me or with breaking my old people-pleasing rules.
The truth is that other people do not need my permission to like or dislike whatever boundary I set. Believing otherwise gives us a sense of control that we simply do not have.
The only things I control are within my own business: my perceptions, my judgements, my values, my opinions, my feelings, my behaviours, my desires, my fears and so on.
Nothing else is in my control. Other people’s feelings are not within my control and neither are their likes or dislikes. I cannot control what people think about me and trying to manipulate or control it usually ends badly.
So maybe it would be more accurate to advise you to give yourself permission to stop worrying whether others like or dislike your boundaries. Your job is to set and maintain them. That’s it.
It’s not your responsibility to ensure others are happy about the boundaries you set…
