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The Secret Solution to Ending Your Emotional Pain

Marlena Tillhon MSc
3 min readApr 16, 2019

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Photo by Elias Domsch – unsplash.com

Most codependents are sad and angry but usually they are only comfortable with feeling and expressing one or the other. Regardless of which they prefer and which they deny, the source of both is rarely ever known.

We may think that we’re sad and angry because someone said or did something we didn’t want them to say or do. Maybe we couldn’t control something we put our heart and soul into. Maybe we just feel that life is beating us down no matter how hard we try.

No matter what story we tell ourselves, it is usually just a symptom of a much deeper problem: a lack of self-care.

Problem 1: A Lack of Attention

In codependency, our focus is external, which means that it is pointed away from us.

We are busy focusing on others, anticipating their needs, pleasing them, avoiding their moods, managing their emotions or outburst and generally obsessing about them in whatever way imaginary.

In that, our attention is elsewhere. It is not on us.

And what relationship can grow and thrive without any attention?

Problem 2: A Lack of Attunement

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Marlena Tillhon MSc
Marlena Tillhon MSc

Written by Marlena Tillhon MSc

Epic Love Relationships & Aligned Partner Choices through Inner Healing & Self-Mastery - follow me on IG @lovewithclarity and visit me on www.epiclove.me

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