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Why There Is Nothing Good About Codependency

Marlena Tillhon MSc
4 min readMay 20, 2019

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Photography by Kat Jayne at Pexels.com

I recently read an article outlining why codependency can be a good thing but all that it showed was that the writer did not really understand what codependency is. She mistook codependency, which is always and without exception unhealthy, for healthy interdependence.

Codependency is a complex and multi-dimensional issue that even mental health professionals rarey ever fully understand due to its complexities and lack of unified description. There are, however, numerous sources that outline definitive codependent traits and symptoms so codependency is far from subjective. But without delving into theory, I’d like to tell you what codependency definitely is not.

Codependency is not feeling close to someone who deserves you and them feeling close to you and therefore cherishing you. It is not operating together well as a team and creating an amazing and functional life together. Codependency is not about true friendship and it most certainly is not about love. There is nothing loving about codependency.

Codependency comes from a place of lack, desperation, deprivation and fear. Love does not. Neither does interdependence.

A healthy relationship requires interdependence and is rooted in love, not need, fear or desperation. But interdependence can only be achieved by two securely-functioning…

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Marlena Tillhon MSc
Marlena Tillhon MSc

Written by Marlena Tillhon MSc

Epic Love Relationships & Aligned Partner Choices through Inner Healing & Self-Mastery - follow me on IG @lovewithclarity and visit me on www.epiclove.me

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