You Are Not Perfect.

Marlena Tillhon MSc
3 min readSep 24, 2023


Photo by Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash

You are not perfect and that’s ok.

That’s how it should be.

And yet, way too much energy goes into trying to prove that you are.

😟 You always try to look your best and smile so that it looks like you’ve got it all together.

😟 You make your home look perfect and agonise over colour schemes and your front garden.

😟 You marry the perfect partner and make that marriage look good to everyone else even though it isn’t.

😟 You create the perfect family unit while feeling completely lost in it and overwhelmed by it all.

😟 You distract yourself with activities, problems and drama just so you don’t have the face the truth:

That creating a life that looks perfect from the outside still doesn’t lead to you feeling any better about yourself.

No matter how much effort you put in.

No matter how much you plan and strategise.

No matter how much you tolerate, sacrifice and suffer.

You cannot make yourself feel perfect.


Because you’re not.


Because you’re human.

You’re not meant to be perfect. You’re meant to be human.

A unique human. And that means that you need to be you.

That’s what would be perfect.


You healing.

You learning.

You growing.

You evolving.

You thriving.

That’s perfection.

And it involves messiness and rawness.

It’s real.

It’s moving.

It’s ugly crying.

It’s making unpopular decisions.

It’s facing others judging you.

It’s accepting people leaving you.

It’s owning your mistakes.

It’s letting go of unrealistic expectations.

It’s watching yourself fail — again and again.

And try — again and again.

It’s giving yourself new opportunities even when you couldn’t make the past ones work.

It’s having compassion for yourself when you lose your patience with your child.

It’s learning to make up with others, to say sorry and to repair relationship ruptures.

It’s allowing yourself to see that you might not be so great at listening or connecting with others.

It’s facing your shadow.

It’s facing yourself.

Your real self.

All of you.

Not the warped version that exists to fit into the mould of perfection.

It’s not really what anyone wants from you.

So how much more time are you going to waste on trying to present less than you really are?

How many more opportunities for being present and connected will you waste because you’e in your head planning the next birthday celebration to impress the neighbours?

When will you realise that you are wasting your energy on something that doesn’t exist and worse, doesn’t matter at all?

You can drop trying to be perfect.

Give yourself permission.

Instead, choose to heal so that you can embrace the perfection of the unique human that you are.

Aligned healing comes from a place of personal empowerment and self-liberation, not the confined illusion of perfection.

Let yourself heal and grow on your terms.

I’d love to show you how ❤️

With Love, Marlena

🌟 To work with me 1–1, please message me as I am currently accepting new clients.

🌟 To join my upcoming HEAL FOR LOVE live healing experience during which we will create your inner healing practice, message me H4L or click the link in my Instagram bio (IG @lovewithclarity)



Marlena Tillhon MSc

Epic Love Relationships & Aligned Partner Choices through Inner Healing & Self-Mastery - follow me on IG @lovewithclarity and visit me on